Hope and Fear

2011 YAV Group

I am sitting at Stony Point in New York right now writing this post.  We have been at orientation since Monday, August 22, and it is almost over!  I can't believe how fast this week has gone by and how much I have experienced in this past week. 

Throughout this week, I have met an array of new friends and sat in on so many helpful sessions with these wonderful people.  We have joined together to explore critical cultural competency, safety and gender issues, relationships, self-care, what makes me tick, communication and conflict, globalization, and culture shock.  These orientation sessions have provided me with the opportunity to consciously think about my fears, worries, hopes and expectations for this year ahead. 

Since arriving at Stony Point, I have gone through many emotional highs and lows.  During our training, I realized that I haven't really thought about the emotional implications of this year until I got here.  This really scared me.  I was scared about my personal self and health, about Karl's and my relationship, about my relationships with the family and friends staying behind, and about feeling worth something in Belfast.  These fears are definitely fears that I will be carrying with me throughout this next year and the rest of my life, but I have hope that the Lord will help me through.  The Lord will provide me with strength and the people in my life to help me through all of my fears.  This does not by any means mean he will make things easy for me, but it does mean that I can always be hopeful that I am not alone in my fears and struggles.  With that said, I want to leave you with this Psalm which gives me hope:

⁷ I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,
nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
¹¹ You make known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.